Reflections
“Time to get relative” is a persistent quote in Matthew McConaughey’s autobiography Greenlights. He uses it as a reminder, agent of change, and guiding principle as he “navigates the autobahn of life.” I’ve been thinking about this saying a lot since finishing Greenlights a couple days ago (thank you for the recommendation Nina). McConaughey insists that we must get relative with the inevitable and the timing and our reaction to this reality is what defines us: defines our “art of living.” I like this mindset.
It has been particularly meaningful to me recently, because I have found myself facing a familiar struggle. One I am not proud of and have tried to ignore the inevitability of in the past.
In ski racing there are good days, and there are bad days. And there are almost certainly more bad days than good days. But what makes a bad day a bad day? My bad days are objectively pretty incredible. I am in the Swiss Alps with amazing training, beautiful weather, a great team, lots of friends around. It feels so unbelievably selfish and ungrateful to have a bad day in such an amazing place, being able to do what I am doing. My relative sorrow, frustration, anger, whatever it is I’m feeling, is insignificant in the big scheme of things, especially with today’s current events.
And yet, I’ve had a some really, ‘bad days’ here.
I care a lot about skiing. It’s probably why I’ve gotten as far as I have. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t get upset. And so, I’ve come to realize that my bad days are inevitable. The only way forward is to accept this and get relative with my reaction to them.
I still lose sight of the big picture sometimes and that makes me feel guilty and ungrateful. But I’m getting better at acknowledging the validity of my frustration, sorrow, anger and using it as motivation. Understanding why I’m feeling that way, where it’s coming from and then moving on. Defeat seems to be inherently intertwined with the commitment to pursue excellence at any endeavor, and I have learned to accept this defeat as part of the process. Accept that I am lucky to be feeling emotions so strongly even if they aren’t always positive emotions. And I’m slowly changing my reaction to this ‘defeat’.
I can be upset and frustrated about a bad run or session and still be grateful and appreciative of what I have. One does not preclude the other. And I am certainly aware of the scope of my relative ‘bad days’. Again, we are learning as we go.
I started writing this on a bad day but today was actually really good. Funny how that works.
Update
We only have a couple days left in Saas Fee, but it really has been incredible. We’ve been unbelievably lucky with the weather and have had sun and (almost) clear skies 95% of the time. I have been taking a little longer than previous camps to get up to speed on my new HEAD skis, but the good turns are awesome! I’ve talked with a couple other athletes who have switched ski brands recently and it seems like its a common theme to struggle a lot when things feel a little off. The old tricks on my Rossi’s don’t work the same on my Heads, but I’m learning new tricks and getting more comfortable each run!
I am hoping to do a meet the team blog, and maybe a ‘day in the life’ sometime soon, but if there is anything you are dying to know or eager to learn more about please feel free to let me know!
I agree that good and bad are relative and it is important to remind myself of the position I find myself in every day, which helps me to refocus bad days so they don’t feel so bad. I also think that the feelings that we experience on bad days are really just labeled bad and actually provide a lot of benefit. As you note, the motivation that stems from feelings of frustration/anger/sorrow is immense, and allowing myself to feel these emotions pushes me to become faster/better/stronger. Additionally, every time I experience these emotions as an athlete, I know there is opportunity to learn and grow. They provide a mental trigger to ask myself questions like why am I feeling this way, what do I need to do to change, and how can I get better in the future. The bad days are sometimes needed to make the good days great!
It is great to hear your introspective growth and mental toughness. Keep it up, stay the course, and HAVE FUN!