Mindset: Past, Present, Future?
I recently posted an Instagram that I captioned “this is the most I’ve ever loved ski racing and it feels so good.”
Truthfully, this caption just popped into my head and I didn’t think much of it before posting, but it is entirely true and something I have been reflecting on quite a bit this season.
I think the biggest reason for this is that I feel the most confident in my commitment to skiing right now, which has been a long time coming and is due to a lot of reflection and trials and tribulations in other areas of life along with skiing. But the ease in commitment is also undoubtedly partially because this is the most confident I’ve felt in my ability to take the steps to get to the next level.
I have always been someone who needs to know ‘why I’’m doing something’, and ‘how to do it’ before I am able to fully commit. I’ve always struggled with motivation when I can’t clearly see the goal or path forward.
When I was younger I went through so many phases of having no idea where to even start to get better at skiing and truthfully I didn’t truly believe I could be good enough - at least not all the time. This made it super hard to see a clear path forward, and even harder to have faith in my abilities when I was having a bad day, which usually spiraled to “oh my gosh what am I doing,” “am I ever going to be good enough,” “am i just wasting my time,” “are all the sacrifices worth it”… you get the gist.
However, as I mentioned in my last blog, one of my strengths is being able to focus on one step at a time and see out my commitment to each season, which thankfully allowed me to continue progressing even when I did doubt the bigger picture, but it wasn't always enjoyable.
I think my ability to enjoy the process more and more is the biggest difference I have felt in the past few years. I’m still putting in the same work and dedication that I have always put into skiing (and most things I decide to commit to), but because I have more confidence in my commitment to what I’m doing and my ability to progress on the World Cup, the process is more enjoyable.
I recently started reading the book “Feel Good Productivity” by my favorite YouTuber Ali Abdaal. He calls on tons of research and science to explain how we are more productive and efficient when we are enjoying what we are doing. Throughout the book he gives plenty of examples, hacks, and useful tricks for how to enjoy whatever it is you’re doing so that you can not only do more of it, but also do it better, and feel good while doing it.
In his book, Ali explains that “feeling confident about our ability to complete a task makes us feel good when we’re doing it and helps us do it better.” This concept first came from American psychologist Albert Bandure who argued that it’s not just our abilities that are important, it’s how we feel about our abilities that makes a huge difference. “The higher our confidence in our abilities the greater those abilities become.” It’s a snowball effect that is quite powerful.
Reading Ali’s explanation of this concept, along with his other arguments on feel good productivity has been so enjoyable because it’s put into words (and science) exactly how I’ve been feeling this season. My favorite part about human behavioral science and psychology books is when you’re reading a great book and you have that “ah ha” moment when the author explains something you’ve been feeling or have experienced and you’re then able to reflect more clearly on your own experience and why you feel a certain way.
But is it really as easy as just faking confidence? Is that the answer to doing better and feeling happier?
I received a great question from my AMA blog asking “if you could fast forward 10 years from now, what would older Trish say to you now?” Truthfully, I’m not sure the answer. I have thought a lot about what I would tell younger Trish if I could go back 10 years from now. I would urge myself to advocate for myself more, but I think this would only be possible if I had believed in myself more. So maybe my ten year older self would tell myself that now too?
But looking back at my own journey I know that this is easier said than done. Can you really fake confidence and commit to something fully when there’s so much uncertainty? Another tricky part for me has always been having true conviction that this IS what I want. I have definitely fallen victim to the “grass is always greener” misconception many times. Should I go all in on skiing, or should I finish college first, should I do the full time internship or should I focus on training, would I be happier if I didn’t put myself in high stress situations all the time, etc. etc.
It’s definitely not quite as simple as it sounds, but a couple things I’ve found to be true for myself is that I need to be sure that I want something badly enough to commit fully to it (and put the other life goals aside for a bit) - and be willing to put in the work needed to really succeed at anything hard. But a very important part of that commitment is truly believing that I CAN (or at least might be able to) do it if I work really hard. And that is exactly what makes committing to things that have so much uncertainty so difficult. Which is why enjoying the process and knowing that there are lessons along the way and experiences to be cherished separate from any result or outcome is so important.
So yes, now I am more confident in my ability, which makes the process more enjoyable. But I also think that the bigger change has been letting go of the what if’s and mental chatter of what I “should” be doing and finally feeling confident in my commitment whether it works out or not. I know that I can be proud of the work I put in, and this conviction that “this is truly what I want to be doing right now” is what truly helps me enjoy the whole experience of ski racing so much more. And for me this conviction has come from a LOT of reflection on what is important to me at this point in my life.
I don’t know if I could convince younger Trish of this if I went back 10 years from now. I think some things we have to live out for ourselves to truly believe in enough to commit to. I am, however, very grateful that I feel this way now and that I am fully enjoying the process through good and bad results. I hope that I can work to keep this perspective with me through the challenges and uncertainty to come!
P.S. Both of our SG World Cup races last weekend were cancelled which is a huge bummer. But we’re already in Norway for the next series so fingers crossed the weather here clears for two final World Cup races this weekend.