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Today was tough. Not much to say other than I’m still learning a lot, and on frustrating days that’s what I try to focus on.
The worst feeling is to be slow or DNF and not understand why or not be able to see what I could or should have done better. But I think this season has shown me pretty clearly what areas I need to work on. And I’m very excited and motivated to keep working. It would be nice not to have to learn all the lessons I am the hard way, but maybe I’ll remember them better this way :)
I definitely had some thoughts today of “maybe I’m just not good enough.” But I don’t think thats true. I think I just need to give myself more time.
I know I have the potential to be competing with the top girls, and I fully intend to continue to work hard to get there. But I also need to acknowledge that when I went to school for three years, I pretty much took my foot off the gas, especially in terms of any sort of speed skiing. I don’t regret going to school at all and I think in some ways it was good for my skiing. It showed me how to work hard, how much I care about ski racing and made me a lot more mature in many many different ways. So, I’m thankful for those years of growth, while at the same time aware that I am now a little bit ‘behind’ in terms of age in ski racing.
This is by no means an excuse for not performing. Just a reality check that the top girls have been focusing solely on skiing for a lot longer than I have, and as a result have put in a lot more hard work.
But my body feels great, I’m making big improvements AND there’s still a month of racing left in the US , which I am extremely excited for. And perhaps equally important is that I still love the sport and am passionate about pursuing it at the highest level. So focusing on the lessons learned, the work ahead and the new chances soon!
Be patient with yourself. The talent has always been there, the training is a matter of time!
Keep it up Tricia and remember, you are competing with the Top Girls!